Just For Today

by Julie on November 16, 2012

Just for today….

I want to stay in bed, watch Diane Keaton movies, play Angry Bird over and over, and start one of the many books I can never find time to read.  I want to nap when the mood strikes and not have anyone call my name, wonder where I am or shout for toilet paper.

Just for today….

I want to ignore the grocery list that has been taped to my pantry door for a week, the expired milk in the fridge and the fact that my son’s school lunch today consisted of a jelly sandwich on a hot dog roll, potato chip crumbs, a handful of maraschino cherries (would that qualify as a fruit?) and carrot sticks that bend.  I want the world to know that if you think his lunch was bad, wait until you see dinner.

Just for today….

I want my phone to stop ringing, the texts to stop buzzing and the emails to stop coming from people asking me for anything that even remotely requires any bit of energy.  I don’t want to look for my checkbook, check my calendar, verify the last four digits of my social security number and absolutely not take a brief moment to help you with your survey.

Just for today….

I want the faucet to stop dripping on its own, the dishwasher to empty itself, the clothes miraculously folded and put away in the correct closet and my bills returned to me with a kind note that says, “Thanks, but this month is on us, Sincerely, your mortgage company.”  I want to walk around my house and maybe, just maybe find a room that doesn’t look like Hurricane Sandy stopped by here before heading to the East Coast.  I want the leaves from the entire neighborhood to stop falling in my front yard and the bag of spring bulbs I bought over two months ago to cease begging for my attention whenever I walk outside. Who wants to dig freezing soil anyway? 

Just for today….

I want to hear more “thank you’s,” “have a good day,” and some sort of acknowledgement that when I let you take the parking spot that I have been waiting for, you will at least give me a friendly wave and maybe even a little nod.  I want cars to stop honking (I really didn’t see you!), the light to stay green when I’m running late for an appointment, and the person in front of me in the Express Lane to really have 15 items or less. I want my prescription ready when it’s supposed to be and the cable guy to show up within the first ten minutes of his four hour window.

Just for today….

I’m feeling sorry for myself.  I’m not trying to find the silver lining nor am I searching for one of Oprah’s “aha” moments.  Nope.  Tonight, when my family asks me “What’s for dinner,” I will point to the stove and say, “Whatever you are making.  And you will be sleeping with dirty dishes if you don’t put them in the dishwasher.”  Then I will turn back to my Netflix, watch “Something’s Gotta Give,” for the umpteenth time and make it a point that tomorrow, I will go to the grocery store, make my child a proper meal and feel better.  Just not today.

 

 

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Because Everyone Deserves A Eulogy

by Julie on October 31, 2012

My mother-in-law passed away in July.  While she had been ill, her death was shocking and unexpected.  At her request, she wanted no funeral or services so we carried on, handling her affairs and moving forward, just as she would have wanted.  And while we didn’t always see eye-to-eye, my mother-in-law and I had a respectful relationship that grew stronger in her later years.  I think the one thing that I admired about her the most was her unwavering support and unconditional love she had towards her family.  Her children were truly her life and her grandchildren?  Well, let’s just say that she was convinced all seven of hers were perfect and everyone else had issues.  Yes, she would listen patiently to others discuss their grandchildren, but then she would respond with, “Well, have I told you about mine?” And she was convinced that this information made everyone’s day.

Because she didn’t want any type of funeral, there was never any reason to write a eulogy, but I often felt bad that some sort of acknowledgement wasn’t made.  And then my oldest daughter sent me this out of the blue.  With her permission I’m sharing it.  It’s just perfect.

Dear Granny,

You have been gone for almost four months now, and it is the longest I have ever gone without telling you about my day.

There is so much I want to tell you, so much I want to say.

I want to tell you that Sean is now playing Varsity soccer, and is growing up to be such a handsome young man.

I want to tell you that Riley is now in college and loving every minute of it.

I want to tell you that I got another internship at the radio station, and I am the happiest I have been in a long time.

I want to tell you that I went to visit your best friend, and we both laughed and shared stories about you.

I want to tell you that my parents and I went to Vegas last month, and how hard it was to not see you there.

I want to tell you that I am a coffee drinker now, just like you were.

I want to tell you I still haven’t listened to the two voice mails I have from you on my phone. And I don’t know if I ever will.

I want to tell you that Dad came to visit me and we had the best time together.

I want to tell you how much I hate the fact that I can’t tell you these things.

But I also want to tell you how glad I am that you are now with your husband and Pat.

And lastly I want to tell you how much I miss you, and how much I love you, but you already know that.

Kate

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Here We Go Again

September 25, 2012

You know, life can be cruel.  You spend the last 19 years giving birth to a child, providing endless feedings and then later countless back scratches and lullabies, vaccinations, happy meals, gymnastic, piano, dance and whatever else lessons, because naturally every mom thinks they have a prodigy on their hands. You cheer at every sports [...]

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It Really Is The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year…..

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For those of you that love summer, that are energized by having your children around 24/7, that thrive on your refrigerator being cleaned out twenty minutes after you return from the grocery and live for sleepovers with a dozen of  your child’s closest friends then this blog is not for you.  If you bask in [...]

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Fifty Shades of Red.

July 21, 2012

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My Thoughts At This Very Moment

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Real Life

July 1, 2012

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I Blew It! So Much For I Worry About Worry.

May 18, 2012

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Happy Mother’s Day And Well, It’s Still True.

May 13, 2012

    I once read a story where a mother had to write a letter to her son.  She was to write what her son meant to her.  She thought to herself,  ”How can words do justice to what I feel for him? It’s indescribable!” So she simply wrote the words, “You know.”  I looked [...]

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Still True: Impatience Is A Virtue

May 7, 2012

Since turning fifty, I have discovered something about myself which I am finding is not necessarily a bad virtue. Impatience.  We have all heard the saying that “Patience is a Virtue.” Well, I’m not feeling it anymore. I think it’s okay to be impatient with people who take advantage of the system. As I grow [...]

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