Speaking the “Homework” Language

by Julie on September 14, 2011

photo credit: Funnyexams.com

Now that school has started, my son and I are back to speaking the “homework” language. Let me warn you, it is an exhausting conversation. This dialogue started in his 5th grade year and wasn’t completely mastered until the end of his 7th grade year.  But now, I have it down.  It comes as naturally to me as serving him cookies and milk after a long day of school.  Let me give you a glimpse.  Take notes.

Me:  Have any homework tonight son?

Son: No.  (He’s a man of simple words fyi.)

Me:  You sure?

Son: I checked my binder and I don’t have any homework.

Me: Do you have any homework that was due last week, yesterday or today?

Son: I don’t think so.  My teacher didn’t tell me.

Me: Then you won’t mind if I email all of your teachers.  Next question.  You say you have no homework tonight correct? I need this confirmed so I can assure your father that I asked you three times.

Son:  MOM! I don’t have any homework!

Me: Let me re-phrase: Do you have any tests, quizzes, reports, projects, outlines, rough drafts, essays, reading, signatures, current events and/or permission slips that need to be turned in tomorrow?

Son: No

Me: The next day?  This week?

Son: Uh, I have a quiz the day after tomorrow.

Me:  Then YOU DO have homework tonight!

Son: But the quiz isn’t tomorrow, it’s the next day!

Note to my readers.  This is what I am still working on.  As all parents know, cramming for a quiz, paper, test or any other homework the night before is not a good idea. Just ask my high school transcripts.

So every afternoon at my home, this is the routine.  It didn’t get this way overnight.  I made the big mistake of assuming that when my child said he didn’t have homework, I believed him. Silly me.  Silly, silly, silly me.

You are welcome.


{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Carolee a.ka. Blogging Biz Mom September 14, 2011 at 6:16 pm

It’s the same way here…and my daughter is in 9th grade now!

All of my kids were that way- they could care less.

But they do love to learn- their way!

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Mindee@ourfrontdoor September 14, 2011 at 9:59 pm

Your son and my daughter can never meet and marry. The results would be pure disaster. Bills wouldn’t get paid, jobs would be lost . . . unless we were there to prod them of course.


Beth September 14, 2011 at 10:04 pm

Found your blog from your comment on mine :) And can I just say, try multiplying your son by 25-30 kids, and then by 4-5 classes and you have every teachers school year. At least, that was my student teaching year, last year.


Brigitte September 14, 2011 at 10:19 pm

We never have that problem at our home,
the kids tend to do their homework right away.


Michelle September 15, 2011 at 4:34 am

I can’t stop laughing at the “pole dancing” picture and story. That is priceless! As for homework – mine are in 3rd and 6th grade. From day one of Kinder, the 6th grader has needed prodding. I’ve decided that with middle school coming up, it’s time to sink or swim, so I’m trying very hard to back off this year. So far, she’s actually pretty much stepped up to the plate on her own.

My 3rd grade, thankfully, is a dream homework kid (I couldn’t handle two of her sister). She comes home, empties her backpack, makes the next days lunch, does her homework, and then asks if she can play. Unless she needs help with a something on her homework, I don’t hear a peep from her. I truly hope that self-motivation continues on with her!


Lala September 15, 2011 at 8:02 am

Oh, and here I thought when they brought homework home it was for me – the one always doing the work in the home – to do. Manipulative brats.



WorldsWorstMoms September 15, 2011 at 4:33 pm

The star with the hot flash? Pure brilliance.

So glad we connected!!


Missy | The Literal Mom September 16, 2011 at 3:02 am

That is the funniest picture I’ve ever seen. My 9yo’s school posts the homework on the website, so I can keep tabs on it that way. Which is nice.


Life with Kaishon September 17, 2011 at 1:14 am

Oh my gosh. Hilarious.
We have homework issues in our house too….I am ready to pull all of my hair out about it. OH MY GOSH!

That picture always makes me laugh and laugh.


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