Because Everyone Deserves A Eulogy

by Julie on October 31, 2012

My mother-in-law passed away in July.  While she had been ill, her death was shocking and unexpected.  At her request, she wanted no funeral or services so we carried on, handling her affairs and moving forward, just as she would have wanted.  And while we didn’t always see eye-to-eye, my mother-in-law and I had a respectful relationship that grew stronger in her later years.  I think the one thing that I admired about her the most was her unwavering support and unconditional love she had towards her family.  Her children were truly her life and her grandchildren?  Well, let’s just say that she was convinced all seven of hers were perfect and everyone else had issues.  Yes, she would listen patiently to others discuss their grandchildren, but then she would respond with, “Well, have I told you about mine?” And she was convinced that this information made everyone’s day.

Because she didn’t want any type of funeral, there was never any reason to write a eulogy, but I often felt bad that some sort of acknowledgement wasn’t made.  And then my oldest daughter sent me this out of the blue.  With her permission I’m sharing it.  It’s just perfect.

Dear Granny,

You have been gone for almost four months now, and it is the longest I have ever gone without telling you about my day.

There is so much I want to tell you, so much I want to say.

I want to tell you that Sean is now playing Varsity soccer, and is growing up to be such a handsome young man.

I want to tell you that Riley is now in college and loving every minute of it.

I want to tell you that I got another internship at the radio station, and I am the happiest I have been in a long time.

I want to tell you that I went to visit your best friend, and we both laughed and shared stories about you.

I want to tell you that my parents and I went to Vegas last month, and how hard it was to not see you there.

I want to tell you that I am a coffee drinker now, just like you were.

I want to tell you I still haven’t listened to the two voice mails I have from you on my phone. And I don’t know if I ever will.

I want to tell you that Dad came to visit me and we had the best time together.

I want to tell you how much I hate the fact that I can’t tell you these things.

But I also want to tell you how glad I am that you are now with your husband and Pat.

And lastly I want to tell you how much I miss you, and how much I love you, but you already know that.


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Sande October 31, 2012 at 8:49 pm

This is beautiful. Jill is missed, her sense of humor and our shared love for our grandchildren kept us laughing and exchanging stories. This is making Jill smile :) You and Kate did a lovely job….


Ruth Wiekamp November 1, 2012 at 6:56 am

Beautiful!! Great job girls.


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