Speaking the “Homework” Language

photo credit: Funnyexams.com

Now that school has started, my son and I are back to speaking the “homework” language. Let me warn you, it is an exhausting conversation. This dialogue started in his 5th grade year and wasn’t completely mastered until the end of his 7th grade year.  But now, I have it down.  It comes as naturally to me as serving him cookies and milk after a long day of school.  Let me give you a glimpse.  Take notes.

Me:  Have any homework tonight son?

Son: No.  (He’s a man of simple words fyi.)

Me:  You sure?

Son: I checked my binder and I don’t have any homework.

Me: Do you have any homework that was due last week, yesterday or today?

Son: I don’t think so.  My teacher didn’t tell me.

Me: Then you won’t mind if I email all of your teachers.  Next question.  You say you have no homework tonight correct? I need this confirmed so I can assure your father that I asked you three times.

Son:  MOM! I don’t have any homework!

Me: Let me re-phrase: Do you have any tests, quizzes, reports, projects, outlines, rough drafts, essays, reading, signatures, current events and/or permission slips that need to be turned in tomorrow?

Son: No

Me: The next day?  This week?

Son: Uh, I have a quiz the day after tomorrow.

Me:  Then YOU DO have homework tonight!

Son: But the quiz isn’t tomorrow, it’s the next day!

Note to my readers.  This is what I am still working on.  As all parents know, cramming for a quiz, paper, test or any other homework the night before is not a good idea. Just ask my high school transcripts.

So every afternoon at my home, this is the routine.  It didn’t get this way overnight.  I made the big mistake of assuming that when my child said he didn’t have homework, I believed him. Silly me.  Silly, silly, silly me.

You are welcome.